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How do I love you Malik?  / Mommy Tracy (Mom)
How do I love you Malik? I love you up to the moon and back. These words were said to each other so many times! I love you over to the ocean and through the beautiful waves. I love you in the Columbia River where your GG's ashes are. I love you through my dog Princess' eyes. Sometimes I think Princess is part of you, so loving and always wanting to protect me. I love you with every decision I have to make whether I want to or not. I love you with everyday that I do not want to wake up because you are not here! I love you for all the chocolate donuts you made me buy and eat! I love you for giving me the strength everyday to get up and tell new people your story. The story of courage you had and the courage you give me to help people. I love you for loving me and teaching me that loving myself is wonderful! I love you to heaven and back!
Two years  / Tracy Tillson (Mommy)
I do not even know what to say.  A whole two years!  It still seems like you will walk in or I will wake up.  How can this be my life, without you?  I want God to give you back.  I feel like I am in such a better place than I was the first year, but will never be the same.  I guess I rely on God and my loved ones. Please help me honey, I feel like you can really help me.  I love you to the moon and heaven and back!  Please give me a heaven hug and kiss tomorrow all day.
How to explain this  / Sandy Tillson (grandmother)
Hi sweet heart.  You are my first grandchild and I can't believe it is almost two years since you left us.  I think of  you everyday and wear your picture on a necklace and it is close to me all day.  I know we are surviving and I try to help your mommy as much as I can but she is really strong.  She misses you so much too.  We always have your picture to look at but it is really not the same as your soft cheeks and your little mischevious but loving ways.  Mommy is wanting to go on with her life but you know she never will be the same.  She wants to go to Oregon and I wish I could go too but she needs to do this for herself and be able to see another part of the United States.  I remember the day you left us you were on the big blue ball and I kept asking you to stop but y ou kept bouncing but I couldn't be mad because you always helped me and did things I asked of you.  You liked to lay on the couch by me and then you started getting too big to fit there.  Boy it was like you just outgrew yourself.  You had the most engaging smile, the most fun here at the warehouse and with wanting to come here to see Uncle Dejo and me.  We look at your picture and miss you.  I love you so much and just remember that I will help your mommy whenever she needs me.
love, Grandma Sandy
I can't do this!  / Tracy Tillson (mommy)
I can't do this today or any day!  I still feel like my heart is missing something!  I feel like I am walking around with such a different view of the world than when you were here.  I sometimes just have to really make an effort to be happy.  It hurts everywhere in my body when I think of you not coming back. 
I love you Boo-boo  / Tracy Tillson (Mommy)

Dear Malik,

 

I love you and miss you so much!  My love for you is so beautiful and enormous.   Do I regret not having more time with you, oh so very much!  God knows and knew what he was doing when he took you to your home in heaven.  I feel very selfish in wanting you here with me on Earth.  It gives me peace in knowing you are my guardian angel and are always watching over me.  I think of what you are doing, you could be eating some chicken, ramen noodles, or a chocolate donut.  These are your 3 favorite foods and would negotiate to give you any of these.  I don’t think I can ever eat chicken flavored ramen noodles; it just wouldn’t be the same without you.  You are up there raping a gospel song that you have made up.  You are amazing all the angels with your gifts, all of them!  You are perfect now; you do not have to worry about a body image.  You told me that when you go to heaven you are not fat, have no pimples and that nothing is wrong with you.   What gets me up everyday is knowing that one day I will be with you in heaven.  I can not believe how many people you have affected in your short life!  But I can not get over how much you changed and affected me with your mere presence. You have taught me how to live life and how precious it is.  You showed me that all people are children of God, so we should love everyone.  You showed me that believing in me is so powerful, that I am beautiful.  You would tell me that I was America’s Next Top Model.  But Malik, boo-boo, you are!  I was suppose to teach you so much, but baby you taught me so much more than I could ever teach you!  You use to drive me nuts with all your energy, I would say Malik, calm down and focus.  But your classmates had the right idea, you had so much to say and do in such a short amount of time.  I would give anything for you to be here driving me nuts!  

Love,
Mommy

Thank you for being in our life  / Melody &. Dwayne Montano (friends)  Read >>
Thank you for being in our life  / Melody &. Dwayne Montano (friends)

The first friend my son Dwayne made when we moved to Denver was Malik.  I remember when my mom would come to visit she would say "they are so cute, they could be brothers".  Malik and Dwayne loved to run around on the grass beside the apartment while Traci and I sat there and watched them.  They sure were two peas in a pod when it came to energy. 

I remember having dinner at the restaurant and seeing Traci and Malik out with their family.  Malik was so happy, he ran and bought a bouncee ball and gave it to Dwayne "from his friend" he said.  I really do believe that God brought us together that day to see Malik one more time.

Traci you are a wonderful mother and I know how much you loved and cherished Malik.  Take care and God Bless you.

Love Melody & Dwayne Montano

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In loving memory of Malik xx  / Georgie-Holly Clarke Mum   Read >>
In loving memory of Malik xx  / Georgie-Holly Clarke Mum

Malik my thoughts are with you and your family xx

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precious Angel Malik  / Candy Lynch (Friend)  Read >>
precious Angel Malik  / Candy Lynch (Friend)

Malik thinking of you and your precious family today what a beautiful angel you are my thoughts and prayers are with you all God Bless

love and hugs Candy Dermot and Jai xoxox

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Forever loved...  / Cindy~B.J., Wayne And Buck Outlaw's Mama   Read >>
Forever loved...  / Cindy~B.J., Wayne And Buck Outlaw's Mama

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A Valentine from Heaven  / Cindy Outlaw (B.J., Wayne & Bucks Mama )  Read >>
A Valentine from Heaven  / Cindy Outlaw (B.J., Wayne & Bucks Mama )

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My beautiful one!  / Mommy Tracy (Mommy)  Read >>
My beautiful one!  / Mommy Tracy (Mommy)
My beautiful one, what do I say except that I miss you so much!  I feel guilty because I can be happy and feel like it is not fair because you are not here with me!  I wish I saw your beautiful smile in the morning when I wake up but instead you aren't there and it doesn't even seem worth waking up!  Your smile would melt me and want to just hold you!  Things are not the same anymore.  I can no longer watch Pimp My Ride or America's Next Top Model with the same joy as I did when you were here with me!  This weekend I watched Stomp The Yard and it was so good.  But all i could think about was how much I would have just loved to watch the movie through your eyes!  You made everything so much better.  You made me want to be a better person! Oh my beautiful one I need you so much right now!  Mommy is hurting so emotionally and physically right now!  I need one of your awesome hugs!  Your smile and eyes would make life look and feel so much better!  Please come down to earth my angel and give your mommy one of your wonderful hugs! Close
It is not getting any easier  / Mommy Tracy (Mother)  Read >>
It is not getting any easier  / Mommy Tracy (Mother)
TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS, OR SO THEY SAY!  I AM STILL WAITING FOR THIS TO HAPPEN FOR ME.  TODAY IS 10 MONTHS SINCE MY BABY DIED!  THIS IS SO AWFUL DURING THE HOLIDAYS!  WHERE IS MALIK TO SHOW ALL THE LIGHTS AND EVERYTHING TO?  I FEEL LIKE NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR ME SAY, I HATE THIS!  I WANT TO WAKE UP FROM MY NIGHTMARE! ANY OTHER NIGHTMARE, YOU CAN WAKE AND IT IS OVER!  WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?  MALIK, YOU ARE SO AMAZING AND ARE CONTINUALLY AMAZING ME!  I WOULD GIVE MY LIFE TO SEE YOU ONE MORE DAY!I WOULD LOVE TO SEE YOU OPEN YOUR PRESENTS ON CHRISTMAS MORNING OR SEE YOU SING ON CHRISTMAS EVE SERVICE.  HOW CAN I BE HAPPY WITHOUT YOU?  YOU WOULD NEVER WANT ME SO SAD, BUT I AM NOT SO STRONG.  YOU WERE THE WIND BENEATH MY WINGS, THE REASON I GOT UP EVERYDAY!  I MISS YOU SO MUCH AND WON'T YOU BACK SO BAD!PLEASE BABY SAVE ME A SEAT NEXT TO YOU IN HEAVEN AND A DANCE.  OH TANYA AND DEJO SAW LL COOL J ON THEIR AIRPLANE, WE THINK U WOULD BE SO JEALOUS!

LOVE YOU SO MUCH BOO-BOO! Close
My Angel  / Dejo Alale (Uncle)  Read >>
My Angel  / Dejo Alale (Uncle)

We trully miss you here physically, but we know you have been there spiritually for your Mom especially in court it was a good day and I know you had something to do with day. I still beem with pride when I speak about you always trying to contain myself from crying my heart full of joyous memories we had together, I tell people how you trusted me and how you bragged about me to your teachers and friends those were proud moments in my life I still adore you and I'm grateful for the memories. Before you you became an angel I had dreams and hope of watching you become a responsible young man and being the delightful young handsome prince that treated   
your mom as the princess she is.
I miss some of the times we walked together and talked about life, i missed when you were excited for me to cook you a meal overall I miss those big brown eyes of yours that pierced me when you looked at me those eyes that blinked when you were mischievious, those eyes that that stared when you were concerned or worried about someone and those beautiful eyes that opened very wide when you were happy or suprised. We miss you very much thanks for the memories thats what I have of you that can't be taken.

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I can't believe this is really happening!  / Tracy Tillson (Mommy)  Read >>
I can't believe this is really happening!  / Tracy Tillson (Mommy)
I sometimes sit and think this really isn't happening to me!  Why does everyone get their babies and I do not get mine!  Malik you would have a way of making me feel so much better, you helped me not be so stressed out.  Why didn't God ask my opinion on this decision?  I was not and am still not ready for my life to be different without my baby!Its not fair you only got to live to be 9.  You were such an amazing person who was so misunderstood and now I get why you were put into my life!  God knows that without you I would not be the individual I am today!  I learned to live and love!  I am trying so hard to live and love but it seems so hard without you.  You were my world, my heart, my absolute everything!  Please boo-boo save a place in heaven for your mommy, princess! Close
I love you my beautiful baby!  / Tracy Tillson (mommy)  Read >>
I love you my beautiful baby!  / Tracy Tillson (mommy)
I love you so much Malik, it hurts!  I listen to eveyone tell me you are in a better place and I know and agree.  I just wish that I would have had more time with you.  The school year starting is not the same without you.  I want to go up to the fifth grade and just see your smiling face.Some of the students could really use your help with their math facts.  I will make sure the school does not forget you!  I love you and am really proud of you Boo-boo! Close
Just for You!  / Dianne~Mom Of Angel Nicholas White   Read >>
Just for You!  / Dianne~Mom Of Angel Nicholas White
Malik, just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you!

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What you would be today and tomorrow!  / Tracy Tillson (mommy)  Read >>
What you would be today and tomorrow!  / Tracy Tillson (mommy)
I love you Malik  so much, my heart is never going to be the same.  I sometimes think that it is unfair to the rest of the world that I walking around with half a heart!  Everyone tells me that it gets easier with time, I do not believe so, you just learn to just survive.  This was one of your biggest fears was not living and just surviving.  I was listening to the song, What you'd be someday and wondered what would you be doing today with me?  You would love to be here in Phoenix with me.  Jacquie has a swimming pool in her backyard.  The city is huge and you would love all the buildings and palm trees.  You would say we were in paradise.  Close
~Thinking of you with love tonight...~  / Cheryl Armore (Mother to Precious Angel John Armore )  Read >>
~Thinking of you with love tonight...~  / Cheryl Armore (Mother to Precious Angel John Armore )
http://www.angelfamilies.cityslide.com/page/page/2671464.htm
Sometimes life can seem so empty
And the night can seem so dark
And the hurt can feel so heavy
That you carry in your heart
And you feel like reaching out
But you’re afraid there’s no one there
Who could understand the way you feel
And it’s more than you can bear
But there is one who knows your troubles
All your anguish He has felt
For He suffered for your sorrows
In the Garden where He knelt
And He thought of you by name there
As He bled from every pore
Lay your burdens down before the Gentle Healer
And suffer them no more
There’s a lot of things in life
That we’ll never understand
But the test is just to put our trust
In whatever God has planned
Though the road is long and difficult
How great is our reward
If we but endure it faithfully
We can live with Him once more
So trust the one who knows your troubles
All your anguish He has felt
For He suffered for your sorrows
In the Garden where He knelt
And He thought of you by name there
As He bled from every pore
Lay your burdens down before the Gentle Healer
And suffer them no more
Let your cross be carried by the Gentle Healer
And suffer thou no more.......

Most Sincerely,
Cheryl Armore

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Keeping your Mom in my prayers Malik!  / Killian Hardings Mommy   Read >>
Keeping your Mom in my prayers Malik!  / Killian Hardings Mommy
Gods peace & blessings to you Tracy, Keena, Killians Mommy Close
Lyrics to some of the songs.  / Mommy Tillson (Mommy)  Read >>
Lyrics to some of the songs.  / Mommy Tillson (Mommy)

ONE MORE CONVERSATION WITH MALIK
    Malik if I was given one more conversation, what would I say to you.  Well I would first start out by telling you how much I love you and why I love you.  I love you because you watched AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL together and at the end of every show you would tell me I was America's Next Top Model.  I love you for always cheering me up when I did not want to be.  I love you for always knowing when I needed a break or a hug.  I love you for your inasince and youthful yet old soul.  I would tell you how very proud I am that you are such a unique individual with very awesome qualities.  I would tell you that I love it how you loved everyone and taught me how to unconditionally love people.  I would tell you that nothing that we use to worry about matters.  Our love and time together is what matters.  I would tell you I am sorry for always being so busy trying to make a better life for us.  I would hold you and never let you go!  I would tell you that my life was nothing until he came into it. Malik remember mommy loves you and is so proud of you.  Boo boo you taught me so much more than I could ever teach you. 








Lyrics to "Who You'd Be Today"


Sunny days seem to hurt the most
Wear the pain like a heavy coat
I feel you everywhere I go
See your smile, I see your face
I hear you laughing in the rain
Still can't believe your gone

(Chorus:)
It ain't fair you died to young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I've been through
Just knowing, no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder, who you'd be today

Would you see the world
Would you chase your dreams
Settle down with a family
I wonder what would you name your babies
Someday's the sky's so blue
I feel like I can talk to you
And I know it might sound crazy

(Chorus)

Today [3x]
Today [3x]

Sunny days seem to hurt the most
I wear the pain like a heavy coat
The only thing that gives me hope
Is I know, I'll see you again someday

Someday, someday



Mariah Carey feat. Boyz II Men
One Sweet Day








Sorry I never told you
All I wanted to say
And now it's too late to hold you
'Cause you've flown away
So far away

Never had I imagined
Living without your smile
Feeling and knowing you hear me
It keeps me alive
Alive

And I know you're shining down on me from heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
Together
One sweet day
Eventually I'll see you in heaven

Darling, I never showed you
Assumed you'd always be there
I took your presence for granted
But I always cared
And I miss the love we shared

And I know you're shining down on me from heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day
Eventually I'll see you in heaven
Although the sun will never shine the same
I'll always look to a brighter day
Lord I know when I lay me down to sleep
You will always listen as I pray

And I know you're shining down on me from heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day










Lyrics For The Song "Cartoons"




I was thinking the other day
What if cartoons got saved?
They'd start singing praise
In a whole new way





Yea, I was thinking the other day
What if cartoons got saved?
They'd start singing praise
In a whole new way





Fred and Wilma Flintstone sing
ya-ba-daba-lujah





Scooby-do and Shaggy
scooby-do-be-lujah





And the Jetson's dog named Astro
ra-ra-ru-jah






CHORUS






Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
cowabunga-lujah, dude





Then there's Kermit the Frog here,
singing hi-ho-la-lujah






And that little bald guy, Elmer Fudd
hallelujah, uh






CHORUS






Oh that big ol' Moose and his friend Rocky,
ba-ya-ca-bujah





And our favorite bear named Yogi,
hi-a-baa-lujah





And There's all those little blue guys
And they'd sing..
la-la-lalalala-lalala-lujah





Oh, how 'bout Beavis, and that other guy
*beep*






CHORUS






Now there's a point to this looney tune
I'm not an animaniac, but there's a lot of praising to do
And cartoons weren't made for that,
It's our job. Oh, yeah





So let's sing hallelujah (hallelujah)
hallelujah (hallelujah)
hallelujah (hallelujah)





Let's sing hallelujah... (Let's sing hallelujah)
hallelujah (hallelujah)










HomeSick  (Mercy Me)


You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

In Christ, there are no goodbye
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again

And I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now 


I Can Only Imagine. (Mercy Me)


I can only imagine what it will be like
When I walk by Your side
I can only imagine what my eyes will see
When Your face is before me
I can only imagine
I can only imagine

(Chorus next)
Surrounded by Your glory
What will my heart feel?
Will I dance for You Jesus?
Or in awe of You be still?
Will I stand in Your presence?
Or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing hallelujah?
Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine
I can only imagine

I can only imagine when that day comes
And I find myself standing in the Son
I can only imagine when all I will do
Is forever, forever worship You
I can only imagine
I can only imagine

(chorus 2x)(ad-lib)

I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever, forever worship You
I can only imagine.






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